(Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide
(Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge
(Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge
They used to steal your lunch money and throw spit wads at you on the bus. Now they roam around from the boardroom to the break room looking to manipulate, intimidate, and humiliate–and eventually ruin your career!Beating the Workplace Bully is your ammunition for fighting back. Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker, this empowering guide will help you recognize what has been causing you to become a victim, then reveals how to:• Avoid typical bully traps• Remain aware and in charge• Move past your fear• Calm yourself in any confrontation• Keep your dignity intact• Handle sneak attacks• Combat cyberbullying• And moreComplete with exercises, assessments, and real-life examples, this personal coaching program will help you reclaim your power and defeat the office bully once and for all! (Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide
“…provides much-needed information about workplace bullying and supports a comprehensive, company-wide approach to keep bullying out of the workplace.” –Cynthia Parkhill blog
“Curry does an excellent job of presenting viable tools designed to benefit all those caught in the web of bullying.” –Anchorage Press
“…will not only help you create a script to defuse bullying remarks, it will also help you devise a strategy to handle that first moment of confrontation…” –Law Office Manager.
“…combines readable, anecdotal accounts of real-life situations with social psychology research about the behavior of both victims and bullies…” –Alaska Journal of Commerce.
“This is the perfect manual for anyone who has ever been the target of bullying.” –Women Working
“Strategies and inspiration for mustering up the courage to stand up to the workplace bully and make the situation more bearable.” –Leading Business Books
“We opened Beating the Workplace Bully with great hopes and we weren’t disappointed, as the book goes into a great deal of detail of the many different types of office bullies…and tactics for outmaneuvering them.” –Accounting Today
“Bullying in the workplace is a real problem and this book offers real solutions to solving those problems…a great book for all workplaces.” –PCB007
Bullies aren’t limited to the playground. These days, they roam our offices and can be found everywhere from break rooms to boardrooms. They don’t steal your lunch money, but they can make your work life a living hell—and even ruin your career.
Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker…whether you’re the target of manipulation, intimidation, verbal abuse, or deliberate humiliation, Beating the Workplace Bully will show you how to fight back. Filled with exercises, assessments, and real-life examples, this empowering guide helps you recognize what’s been making you a victim…and reveals how to:
Avoid typical bully traps • Remain aware and in charge • Move past your fear • Calm yourself in any confrontation • Keep your dignity intact • Build confidence • Handle sneak attacks • Strengthen your resolve • Understand the steps that your employer or supervisors can take to address the issue • Combat cyberbullying • And more
With this practical, personal coaching program in your corner, you can reclaim your power—and defeat the office bully once and for all.
From the Back Cover
Most of us think of bullying as something that takes place at the schoolyard. But for many, the activities we associate with childhood bullying—verbal hostility, aggressive manipulation, and psychological violence—occur in the last place we might expect to encounter them: our workplace.
Workplace bullying is far more common than most people realize. And if you’ve had it with a bully at work and are ready to make a change, this book will give you the advice and solutions you need. (Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide
Beating the Workplace Bully shows you how to fight back and out-strategize anyone who bullies. Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker, whether you’re the target of manipulation, intimidation, verbal abuse, or deliberate humiliation, this book will be your personal coach and show you how to:
Avoid the typical bully traps • Stay strong and in charge • Move past your fear • Remain calm during any confrontation • Keep your dignity intact • Handle sneak attacks • Understand the steps that your employer or supervisors can take to address the issue • Combat cyberbullying • And much more
You’ll start with learning how not to be a target . . . and then, this empowering guide —filled with exercises, assessments, real-life examples, and vivid cases illustrating the different aspects of bullying—gives you smart strategies and concrete tools for outmaneuvering anyone, in any kind of work environment, whose behavior torments you and threatens your job satisfaction or livelihood. And at the end of each chapter you’ll find questions to help you understand more deeply the bullying dynamic you’re experiencing, and the exercises you can use to test your newfound bully-beating skills.
Left unchecked, workplace bullying could ruin your job, or even your career! But you don’t have to take it anymore. Now you can put a complete stop to unprofessional, nasty behavior. This book shows you exactly how to take back control.
LYNNE CURRY, Ph.D., is President of The Growth Company, Inc., Alaska’s largest management consulting firm. An expert workplace coach, HR consultant, trainer, and mediator, she pens a weekly business column for the Alaska Dispatch News.
Connect with her at:
www.workplacecoachblog.com / www.thegrowthcompany.com
About the Author
LYNNE CURRY, PH.D., is President of The Growth Company, Inc., Alaska’s largest management consulting firm. An expert workplace coach, HR consultant, trainer, and mediator, she pens a weekly business column for the Alaska Dispatch News.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
INTRODUCTION: INTIMIDATED NO MORE—YOU CAN DO IT
If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.
—DAVID VISCOTT, MD
Anne didn’t have a warning. When she landed what she thought was a dream job, she quickly bonded with a charismatic coworker, Karla. When Karla poured wine liberally at an informal dinner at her home and said, “Tell me all about you,” Anne did.
The next day, the receptionist giggled as Anne walked in. When Anne asked, “What’s so funny?” the receptionist looked at her, wide-eyed, and squeaked, “Nothing.”
Later, as Anne entered the break room for a cup of coffee, two of her new coworkers abruptly stopped talking.
At the afternoon staff meeting, she noticed two male coworkers smirking at her.
Anne went home with a headache, and decided to cheer herself up by logging on to Facebook. To her horror, she discovered that her coworkers were posting wildly exaggerated stories about her past relationships—all based on her private conversation with Karla. With her heart-shaped face ashen and her fists clenched so tight that the blood had wrung out of them, she called Karla. No answer.
The next day, Anne confronted Karla, who gave her a cold, coyote smile, and replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“But the things they’re posting could only have come from you,” Anne insisted, nausea percolating in her stomach.
“Pull yourself together,” Karla snapped. “You clearly have issues.”
Anne endured three more weeks of sideways glances, during which Karla tormented her with her own stories about unsuccessful love and work relationships. When Anne finally turned to Craigslist to find a new job, she discovered that her personal stories had circulated throughout the industry.
That’s when I met Anne. She described Karla, a two-faced Dr. Jekyll/Ms. Hyde, and shared how Karla had manipulated her into divulging personal details that, repeated out of context, made Anne look like a fool.
“Is there anything I can do?” she asked. “My female coworkers think I’m a bad joke. They look at me as if I’m something they scraped off the bottom of their shoes. The guys in my office, including my boss, are scared I’m man hungry, and make a point of telling me they love their wives.”
“What do they think about Karla?” I asked.
“They don’t like her, but no one crosses her. She has a power that I can’t explain. It’s like everyone goes along with her so she doesn’t attack them.”
“How have you fought back?” I asked. (Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide
“Which means that as far as Karla’s concerned it’s open season on you. What’s your boss doing about this?”
“Nothing. It’s as if she has something on him.”
“Bullies win,” I explained, “because they set a rigged game in motion, and the rest of us find ourselves playing it—and badly. If you want to escape the bully’s control, you need to take the bully on and change the game’s rules.”
WHAT THIS BOOK PROMISES YOU
Workplace bullies. Have you recently tangled with one? Did you hold your own or did the bully ride roughshod over you? Do you expect a rematch?
If you’ve picked up this book, you want a better result the next time you encounter your bully. You want to walk away feeling whole, not trampled.
That’s what Beating the Workplace Bully offers you. In each chapter, you’ll find concrete strategies, skills, and tools for successfully outmaneuvering bullies in your workplace.
You’ll learn: (Guide) Beating the Workplace Bully A Tactical Guide
How to quell your instinctive fear and not feel intimidated
Powerful strategies to use with those who intimidate you
Methods for turning the tables on bullies
Strategies for building self-confidence
Bully traps to avoid
How to engage your fighting spirit
Strategic moves for handling feared or unexpected attacks
How to keep bullies from gaining an outpost in your mind
Ways to calm yourself in any confrontation
How to strengthen your “fighting-back” muscles
The truth and falseness in bully myths and assumptions
How to keep your dignity intact
. . . along with the steps employers, supervisors, and managers can take to successfully derail and prevent bullies from trampling on their employees.
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Chapter 1 – Are You A Bully Magnet.mp3
Chapter 2 – You Can Run But You Can’t Hide.mp3
Chapter 3 – Doormats Can Change Here’s What it Takes.mp3
Chapter 4 – Wounded Rhino Shapeshifter Character Assassin and Other Bullies.mp3
Chapter 5 – It’s Your Choose to Confront or Not to Confront.mp3
Chapter 6 – Put on Your Game Face, Don’t Play by The Bully’s Rules.mp3
Chapter 7 – The Eight Most Common Bully Traps and How to Avoid Them.mp3
Chapter 8 – How to Overcome the Bullies Favorite Weapon, An Outpost In your Mind.mp3
Chapter 9 – Countering Bully Tactics and Bully Speak.mp3
Chapter 10 – Turn the Tables on A Bully with One Easy Move.mp3
Chapter 11 – Create the You Who Won’t Knuckle Under.mp3
Chapter 12 – How to Silence the Angry Aggressive Jerks.mp3
Chapter 13 – How to Handle A Scorched-Earth Fighter.mp3
Chapter 14 – Defusing the Silent Grenade.mp3
Chapter 15 – Seeing Through the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde.mp3
Chapter 16 – Pierce the Facade; Topple the Narcissist.mp3
Chapter 17 – Take Down the Rhino Before It Charges.mp3
Chapter 18 – Undoing a Character Assassin’s Wounds to Your Reputation.mp3
Chapter 19 – The Newest Character Assassin The Cyberbully.mp3
Chapter 20 – How to Survive the Bully Boss.mp3
Chapter 21 – Handling the Bully Employee Without Getting Burned.mp3
Chapter 22 – Nine Essential Strategies for Creating Your Game Plan.mp3
Chapter 23 – The Right Way to Ask Managers and Others for What You Need.mp3
Chapter 24 – Anger, the Bully, and You.mp3
Chapter 25 – What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying.mp3
Chapter 26 – What Human Resources Can and Should Do.mp3
Chapter 27 – Bullying Isn’t Illegal-or Is It.mp3
Chapter 28 The Times Are Changing Have You.mp3