If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

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If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

Hey everybody welcome back in this section we’re just going to do some great tips to kind of wrap up

this course for the last couple of sections.

Just some fun tips some great tips some things that are really push ahead and give you the communication

style that you always wanted.

So let’s jump right in. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

Now the first one is a powerful one is to show appreciation for other people’s ideas experiences and

feelings.

Why.

Because this is literally who they are.

The likability factor we talked about this earlier is huge if we hang out with people we know like and

trust we listen to and are influenced by people we know like and trust we listen to people who we know

like and trust like and trust are the biggest things.

And which comes first.

You think like her trust like you probably are going to get far enough in a communication unless you’ve

known somebody for a long time that they’re going to trust you.

But likability can happen almost instantly and they can feel like they know you almost instantly.

So you get two out of three pretty quick and maybe a little bit of trust but that may be for different

training.

So here’s how you gain a huge amount of likability.

People are in love with their ideas.

Right wrong or indifferent you’re probably never going to change your ideas and they’re just waiting.

3-They are starved for people to show appreciation for their ideas.

4-They also think their experiences are wildly valuable even though they’re probably fairly typical experiences.

5-They wouldn’t be describing them to you if they didn’t have a huge significance to them.

Therefore it should have the same level of significance to you.

It’s simple appreciation.

People love it.

And how about if somebody told you about their feelings and you didn’t appreciate it.

How would they feel completely unappreciated if not humiliated and embarrassed.

So you always have to show appreciation for their feelings and you also had this in you want to show

appreciation for who they are don’t just reflect on oh that must have been a horrible experience.

Talk to them about how much strength they must have had and how much character they must have had.

Talk about who they are in this experience.

That must have made you so much stronger.

You know I wish I had those kinds of strengths.

I don’t wish that experience on anybody but I wish for that strength that showing appreciation of who

they are and that’s the highest level of appreciation because you can like somebody has ideas you can

like their clothes their shoes their experiences you can you know give homage to their feelings but

what they really want you to care about what they really want you to like what they really want to appreciate

is what them who they are.

Their very essence that is great communication.

Compliments compliments are interesting.

I read a study where people don’t care if you’re lying or not.

Your star your value with that person will still go up.

They can know you’re amazingly full of B.S. and they still like you better.

This is how star people are for compliments so compliments are great for increasing likability and it

makes people more open to what you have to say because they want to hear more.

It’s a big factor in likability which we said is huge.

So we’re more likely to listen to and be influenced by people we like.

Now to get the best compliments what you want to do is you want to make sure that you’re complimenting

the person.

I always give the example.

Hey nice shoes.

Well did you compliment the person maybe in a backhanded kind of way.

You really just complimented their shoes and they’re not going to get excited that you like their shoes.

They give me a slight backhanded compliment in terms of they had to select those shoes they had to pick

those shoes they had to search for those shoes.

So it’s a compliment to them in that way but it’s very weak.

Now if I say wow those shoes look great on you.

Now I didn’t compliment the shoes I complimented you.

If I say nice dress I compliment the dress.

If I said You look amazing in that dress I just complimented you not the dress.

Which one do you think people would want you to complement more.

The dress.

Wear them.

They always want you to complement them.

Same thing when you’re out in the golf course.

Oh my god that was an amazing shot.

You complimented the shot.

You say I can’t believe you made that amazing shot.

You’re a fantastic golfer.

I just complimented you and your golfing skills.

That’s a better compliment.

I said the same thing.

It was all about that last shot.

But it’s totally different to the person receiving it makes sense.

Let’s try to.

Now this is a very important section because it’s how to use conversations to build the rapport to build

the relationship to get somebody to feel closer to you.

And this is a great thing to use in your relationships very sincerely because your relationships will

get stronger they’ll be kinder more loving more beneficial to you and to them a true win win if ever

there was

so couple of conversation tips.

Listen to and tell stories people love stories.

I’ll have an actual little section on this and why stories are so important but very important that

you listen to the stories because stories are adventures that people have.

It’s again it’s something that is important to them.

It’s also important to tell stories because now you’re sharing a little bit of yourself with the other

person.

Hopefully it is a little bit of a moral to the story or lesson or a back end I call it you know kind

of a take away something that they can learn from the story both about you and maybe about life as well.

I’m a teacher so I tend to go that way but that’s ok.

Giving praise.

Very similar to the giving compliments.

People are constantly doing things that are praiseworthy but we don’t give them the praise.

It’s almost like we’re being cheap with it.

Like if we get so many praises if we give mouth them will run out.

No you don’t run out of praise that you can give to people you don’t want to overdo it you don’t want

to over ingratiate.

But when you notice somebody doing something nice a boy that was really nice to you.

Very simple but very powerful.

Share small secrets member we said we want we communicate well with and we connect with people that

we know like and trust.

And we said that knowing a sense that I know who you are and likability.

We said those two come pretty easy. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

The hardest one was trust. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

Here’s a way to start building trust. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

And you do it in a scale and proportionate way this way of sharing small secrets.

You want to be talking about sexual positions that you like on the first date you know or with someone

you don’t know but you might share a small secret the small secret could be.

I dress my dog up for Halloween. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

Kind of dumb and embarrassing but I did it. If I said You look amazing in that dress Still MORE Great Tips!

Ok that one you can share.

OK.

So you look for small secrets that you can share that give people a sense that you’re trusting them

a little bit then they’ll trust you a little bit and they will share a little bit more with you.

The more you share with them the more they share with you.

This reciprocity going and this creates trust.

Great great way to do it.

Share goals goals are the things that are most important to you.

If you share your goals with them guess what they’re probably going to reciprocate and are going to

start talking about their goals.

And certainly after you’ve talked about your goals you can give him the opportunity to talk a little

about their goals their goals or the major things they want in life.

How valuable is that to knowing in a conversation if you’re trying to be influential with somebody.

And isn’t this sharing because these things are very important when you’re sharing something that’s

very important with somebody that creates trust.

That second thing that’s hard to get

share small bits of personal information.

So it might not necessarily be a secret but you can share little things.

Hey here’s what I do for a job.

Here’s what here’s what I used to do when I was growing up here’s one fun thing I used to like to do.

Here’s a little bit tid bit of information about one of my siblings or you know I have three dogs.

You know whatever the little bit of personal information is things you like to do like to go fishing

golf camping whatever it is.

Share a little bit of that again as people know personal details.

They feel like you’re sharing things instead of hiding things.

Hiding things creates concern and distrust sharing things and giving little tidbits of personal information

creates knowing and therefore trust and comfort

demonstrate liking.

Who do you like the most.

The people who demonstrate that they like you they hug you they kiss.

1-They slap you on the back they tell you joke they got a big smile on their face when they see you know

2-they just love you to death.

3-They demonstrate liking over and over and over and over and over again.

So you need to demonstrate some liking when they tell you stories say boy I really like that you know.

I like that you do this.

You can use the word like you know but you can demonstrate liking in a lot of different ways just by

smiling by agreeing I can demonstrate somebody I I like them by picking up the check.

There’s a lot of ways to demonstrate liking but make sure you’re doing it.

We always forget this in communication.

I try never to forget it.

Note similarities when we said we know we connect with people that we know like and trust.

Here’s what we typically know like and trust people and have the good taste to be just like us.

Salesmen used to use this as a technique I’m sure they still do.

They would look around your office or your house.

They would see something that matched up with something that was in their life and they would note it

all you like golf.

I like all of you like dogs I like dogs you like cats I like cats.

Boom boom boom boom boom.

Hopefully it was very sincere.

But people are always telling you things and you’re going to have at least a 20 to 30 percent overlap

just noted.

Oh he like that I really liked that too when I was a kid I started doing blah blah blah blah and you

know that’s how I got into that book.

Let them tell their story back about how they got into it.

Note the similarities.

The more you are like them the more they’re going to like you.

In the last one is use humor.

Nobody defends against humor.

Humor can tell little stories.

Humor helps people have a good time.

Why are people conversing anyways for no godly reason unless they’re forced to be stuck in a room with

you.

This is like mandatory court ordered.

You want people to have a good time.

People have a good time when you make them feel good about themselves and when you make them happy.

So my goal when I’m with anybody is to make them have a good time.

So listening to them makes them happy complimenting them makes them happy.

Having that human connectedness with them makes them happy and telling jokes makes them happy you know.

Or even enjoying their jokes.

Maybe they’re the funny one and you’re the less funny one.

Enjoy their sense of humor and you have a good time.

If you’re having a good time we like to match the people that we’re with.

If you’re smiling more they’ll smile more laugh more they’ll laugh more you are a little more trusting

they’ll be a little more trusting here a little bit more energetic.

There’ll be a little more energetic.

So in LP Neuro-Linguistic program we call this matching and mirroring.

You can match to the other person but you can also get the other person to match you.

You can tick things up a notch make them a little happier.

Make them a little more energetic.

They will love you for that.

We never dislike people that we have a good time with.

You know we’re craving people to come into our lives and make us feel better without us having to do

anything.

That’s a gift.

So use humor whenever you can.

And nobody defends against humor.

Long as it’s not too sarcastic I leave you that thought and I’ll see you in the next section.

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Still MORE Great Tips! Part 2

 

 

Still MORE Great Tips! Part 3

 

 

Author : kaabinet

kaabinet

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