Miscommunication Synonyms definition

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Miscommunication Synonyms definition

Miscommunication Synonyms definition

OK in this section I’m going to teach you something that you probably already know is that many times

we get our signals mixed up. Miscommunication Synonyms definition

Go ahead and look over this cartoon.

I absolutely love this one.

It’s a symphony to how we mess up communication.

How do we do it.

A lot of times it’s true the power of assumptions.

We assume one thing with something else is happening.

We all know what assumptions actually stand for.

And that’s pretty accurate.

We don’t want to guess.

Remember I talked about reflecting and clarifying and those types of things.

What happens is that our communication just isn’t that clear.

So the question to ask yourself is is your communication clear.

Here’s a second question ask yourself Are you sure.

Because a lot of times you’re not as clear as you think.

Most of the time you’re not as clear as you think.

People will tell you if you confuse them when sometimes other times they don’t.

So you could confuse somebody.

Say 20 percent of the time and maybe one in a hundred times they tell you the other 19 times they don’t.

That’s 19 times that you confuse somebody and they just let it slide.

They told you about 10 percent of the number of times that you confuse them or less.

And that’s about the average somewhere between five to 10 percent of the time they’ll tell you when

you confuse them you go ha or watt or they’ll let you know where they’ll clean.

Other times they just let it slide by. Miscommunication Synonyms definition

It gives us the false illusion that our communication is clear.

There’s other times where you said one thing they heard something else like in that cartoon we just

looked at and they’re fine because they think they got the message.

They think it was very clear.

But it wasn’t it wasn’t the message you wanted to get across.

So they got a message just not what the correct message

I love this one I use to do this as kind of a demonstration with people to show them how bad their communications

were.

It was called the talking feather.

It was a way to do therapy in couple of therapy to show them how bad the communication was and to remove

any arguments.

So literally we had this was an old Indian tradition where you know you would sit around the circle

and you would have the talking feather it was there way to keep people from talking over each other.

Great for therapist right.

So they would go around the circle with the feather and whoever held the feather could talk then they

could pass it around the circle or if everybody had spoken in the circle then they could pass it to

somebody that raise their hand or they wanted to get a response from where they want to have shared

next or get some feedback from.

So that’s the talking feather.

Well we did the same thing in therapy.

I would say give the wife the talking feather.

And then we would test to see if the husband could actually hear her.

So she would talk about something I say time you got about 30 seconds and you know I’ll kind of raise

my hand at different levels so you know when you get towards the end kind of like when you do a presentation

of like say Toastmasters and you see the yellow light the green light.

And then of course the red light and you’re out of time.

So they let you know when you run out of time.

So I would give her 30 seconds to talk and then she would hand the feather over to the husband and he

was to repeat back you know that the core essence of what she said you don’t have to repeat it back

verbatim but just say what was she trying to tell you.

And on average these couples had to go back and forth.

These are couples that been together for many many years typically thought they complete each other’s

sentences and on average it took about six times to get it right.

So literally we’d have to have the husband hand back that feather five more times to the wife before

he could get.

Correctly.

Thirty seconds of her conversation.

It showed him how bad the communication was and let me tell you second secret.

The wife didn’t do any better.

And women are pretty good listeners.

OK.

They didn’t do much better.

You know they average like 5.5 times we just tend.

Like I said an earlier section not to listen so much as to take turns talking and we do all this vocalization

talking in our own heads which makes it very difficult to hear the other person.

We have a hard time shutting down our minds and listening to our own thoughts to listen to somebody

else’s.

It’s a skill and it’s not our fault.

We were never trained to do this.

You know my martial arts instructor trained me how to do this but I don’t know of anybody else that

was really trained how to do this.

So we have a lot of challenges in this area and the solution is to listen intensely let your own thoughts

go get into the story visualize what the person is telling you.

Listen to all the nuances.

Remember the words they’re saying the tone the body language listen to the values the essence the message

become a very good listener.

The only way you’re going to become a great communicator.

How can you respond back when you don’t know even what they said.

And how can you come up with the right message when you don’t know what they said.

You can’t so be a great listener.

You’ll be a great communicator.

I’ll see you in the next section.

And we got an awesome series of tips to kind of wrap up this training for you.

And I’ll see you there.

Take care.

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