Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

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Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

Hey everybody welcome back. Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

We’ve been talking an awful lot about communication and it’s always been about the other person the

other person the other person. Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

Now I want to flip it on its head a little bit and talk about communication between you and you.

That’s right just me myself and I just the three of us.

How do you talk to yourself.

In therapy we call this self-talk Sometimes it’s called the Inner Critic.


Because it tends to be very very negative but pretty much I call it self-talk.

Self-talk is a philosophy a system a theory.

It comes from Rational Emotive behavioral therapy also known as Ari Beati which Wistar by Albert Alice.

I’ve actually got a nice training on this if you want to check that out later.

But Ari Beatty’s the science of how your brain works.

And one of the first things they teach about is self-talk how you talk to yourself will determine how

you feel because your thoughts create your feelings create your actions.

That’s the primary core of our CBT So be very careful what you think which is the self-talk because

it’s going to create the feelings.

So when you think depressive thoughts you think you have depressed feelings when you think happy thoughts

you have happy feelings.

So you can be very careful we’re not careful with our internal language the way in which we communicate

to ourselves internally which is what our thoughts are communication with ourselves.

So our communication can be empowering or disempowering.

It can be discouraging or creating courage can be either can be creating assertiveness or non assertiveness.

We have to be very careful how we communicate with ourselves.

So I recommend that are CBT course.

There’s also another course called an LP and it talks about language.


Because A.P. literally stands for neuro which is brain linguistic which is language in programming how

we program our brain through the use of our language.

And one of the things that they teach in their eye of course on this as well is that language sets intensity.

So if you look at the scale here it goes from peeved all the way up to furious if you tell yourself

you’re peeved.

I put that word in there because kind of makes me laugh.

All we have to fear is it’s like I can’t take this anymore I would explode.

That language will determine how you feel.

Matter of fact I used to use this system to de-escalate people when I was a therapist.

You know when I would go into work and you know they called me and my beeper back in the day right and

they said hey you know somebody is tearing up the game room.

I go in there and I talk to the guy and he’d say I’m furious because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah


And I said OK.


I’d be furious too if that happened to me.

You know I’d be very mad about that see what I just did.

I switched furious to mad.

Very subtly.

Always go one step at a time.

He’d say you’re damn right I’m mad they did blah blah blah blah.

Yeah I can see why you would be mad.

I might be upset for days.

You read it again.

Mad too upset.

Is there you’re damn right I’m mad love.

You know you just keep going down down down through the scale.

You need to do this to yourself when you tell yourself you’re furious maybe not really furious you mad

maybe you need to change the language a little bit when you get to a point where you can you know figure

out hey I’m mad about this and say well I’m really upset about this. Self Talk Powerful Language importance of self talk

By the time I get too upset I can usually solve the problem when I’m mad or when I’m furious.

It’s hard to solve the problem.

So C-L language will not only set the intensity it will set what you can and cannot do.

Resources you can access or cannot access.

Let me show you that in the next section a little bit more in LP for you.

So we need to change the language in the top section.

Furious mad upset we talked about that let’s go to the second section unbearable.

When something is unbearable can you bear it.


No it’s unbearable.

One can’t bearable can’t be.

But when something’s hard.

Can you is something that’s hard.



It’s bearable.

So you can do it.

It’s going to be it’s going to be hard.

It’s going to be very very difficult.

But you can do it.

Same thing when you use the word impossible.

Im not possible.

Impossible can’t be done.

Can you solve something that’s impossible.


But can you saw something that’s difficult.


See how through the language your brain is using it is physically shutting itself down.

You don’t intend to get out is something that’s unbearable.

You won’t try to do something that’s impossible.


When something’s a catastrophe you just sit in it.

He give up but when a catastrophe becomes a unique situation then you can deal with it.

So changing a language is absolutely huge in terms of freeing up your brain freeing up the access to

the resources in your brain.

Now you can even do some reframes reframes in therapy or things that you say I’m a little different

way they look different.

Lucila is if you change the frame on a picture you can have a average looking picture being put in a

good looking frame it looks so much better.

You can also take a good looking picture and put in a crappy frame and look so much worse.

Women know this is why they changed their outfits it’s the way that they frame themselves they frame

their body to make it look their best.

Guys just go yeah this is clean.

Pop this on.


So look at the bottom section problem becomes challenge.

Good use of words.


Because they mean the exact same thing.

You’ve got something that you’ve got to fix.

What do you call that.

You can call it a problem call it challenge people hate problems.

The word is negative and they run away from problems.

We like challenges.

Challenges are fun.

You play a football game against another team.


Because they challenged you.

It’s a challenge.

That’s what makes it fun.

1-We like to play board games because they’re challenging.

2-We like to do puzzles because they’re challenging.

3-We love a good challenge.

And in fact it no challenge.

Why bother do it.

You know I say Why climb the top of Mt. Everest because it’s there.

No because it challenges you.

If it was there but it was flat nobody would do it.


Or if it was downhill all the way to Manigat try this it’s like you know 6000 feet downhill now.

So change the language from problem.

Challenge from failure to feedback.

This one has you know just like the other one has the benefit of being true.

Are you a failure.

If you had something that didn’t work out do you describe it as a failure or feedback the reality of

the situation the signs of the situation is you just found out one more way that doesn’t work.

You know Edison had to try over 10000 times to invent the electric light bulb.

So he just said what each each quote unquote failure is just part of the scientific method fail fail

fail fail fail don’t succeed.

Now you’re a hero.

So that’s we got the the motto of if you want to double your success rate you got double your failure

rate and business from science.

Science new you try something you try something you try something you just keep going until you get

the right solution and you only worry not about how many times you failed.

But the fact that you got the solution that’s what the rebate is about and it’s OK it’s part of the


I remember there was a TV show on and Guy this was way back in like late 70s.

And it was about millionaires that were under the age of 35 and on average they had failed six times.

So some got it in the second or third or fourth try are the ones to 10 15 20 drives but on average it

was about six six and a half failures to become massively successful and they all said the same thing

you know they all went bankrupt multiple times.

They did not care because they only need one success and once they got that they could take it to its

logical conclusion.

Nobody remember that bankruptcy’s except just creates a nice Rocky story went from rags to riches and


Off you go.

Because once you figure out the solution you can scale it you can multiply it and boom you’re a huge


That’s how Bill Gates became a big winner.

He wrote a little piece of code.

It became DOS disk operating system way back in the day so that the computer could run that he actually

did he never did anything else.

Windows program that was actually something that he bought from a think tank that had been working on

that and had that sitting up on the shelf for like four to six years and they never thought it would

be big.

They never thought it would go anywhere.

They never thought it would do anything and he just bought it from for like pennies.

I forget what he paid maybe 10 or 20 thousand dollars or something for that and he said take it you


And he built his multibillion dollar wealth out of that.

And he never tried to do anything else to scale scale scale scale scale.

You know Bill Gates will tell you I just hire people that were smarter than me to work the company to

work the system to make Microsoft better and better and better.

He didn’t try to create 20 more businesses.

He had the one that worked and he scaled it bull.

You don’t cash me out so you can do this.

It’s feedback not failure.

And I’m a loser.

Love that one.

You’re not a loser losers quit.

If you haven’t quit you just got one more setback again.

Like the Rocky story.

Get up one more time and you fall down.

So keep going keep going keep going.

Remember you only need one success and everybody will call you a winner.

Have one or two losses roll over and ask people to scratch your belly and be a loser and quit.

Then yeah you’re right.

But it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You’re a winner.

Keep going.

Don’t quit.

Make it happen when you find your success.

Blow it up.

That’s the thought and I’ll leave you with and I’ll see you in the next section.

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